i dont know how to console anyone anymore.
i can feel unfair for someone
help them scold someone.
but i cannot say things that would be nice and sweet.
at times, i dont even want to hear them.
it all seems too fake to me.
@newfriend often fake situations
and i always get scolded for not saying the things people want to hear
and also not reacting the way people normally would
even when i actually believed it.
but i dont think being unusual is something bad though
hehs.
i used to be the kind of person who remembers everyone's birthday.
and will sometimes prepare a present or something.
but i am not anymore.
i actually am not so thoughtful, caring anymore.
and i am not lying at all.
even though i give excuses sometimes to make an action purposeful
but it was something i thought of afterwards to make it seems meaningful.
seems like @boyboy and me are getting too much of each other.
it is a good idea to take a break.
but with the time ticking away
i really wonder what it is going to be like after this.
hopefully, he will be the same.
and i am still waiting for @moviekaki to come find me for step up.
this is the last chance i will be giving him.
